Struggle for gender equality must first rise in the minds

It seems that there isn’t a more opportune time than the present to talk about gender equality in India. While the global #MeToo movement was gathering steam in India, with actors and journalists at the forefront, Supreme Court ruling in allowing women of all age groups in Sabarimala temple added a much needed impetus to the national discourse on gender equality.

Yet in your naivety, if you take for granted the newfound spring in the society’s step towards liberalism, you are in for a rude awakening. If you cast a cursory glance at the media – social media or traditional media – you can find that not many among men or among women see these advancements in positive light. There is cacophony of diverse voices casting aspersions on the character of women who are part of the #MeToo campaign. There is a brute majority out there, including women, who call the Supreme Court verdict on Sabarimala excessive and needless.

Without a significant change in the patriarchal attitude of the society that considers women as second class citizens, no material or moral progress is possible. As is the case with all kinds of resistance against the immoral and unlawful exploits in the history of mankind, the struggle for gender equality must also first rise in the minds.

Revolutions have always sprouted in the minds, where they might lay dormant for some time, but drawing nutrients from the thoughts and challenging the intellects, before rising into action – sometimes peaceful, often violent – in the alleys of institutions and the streets of cities, stirring every hamlet and every soul residing in them.

Renaissance that our society, particularly Kerala society, witnessed many decades back is in serious danger of wilting and disappearing under conservative pressure. The more we change, the more we remain where we are. The progressive society that we assume we have become has turned out to be a myth. Education that aims at ennobling people to an advanced state of progressive existence has apparently brought material prosperity, but hasn’t brought any moral advancement.

Though the allusion may seem trite, it must be reiterated that while Russians are sending women to space, we in India are still squabbling on whether menstruation is impure or not. No society can progress when the majority of its citizenry believes that a physiological characteristic of human body is inherently impure. Every idea that gains traction in the society must pass the twin test of analytical and logical consistency. Nothing that defies logic and reason must be allowed to gain foothold.

In order to gain their rightful space in the society women need to assert themselves. There is much to be admired and to be followed in the way in which Women in Cinema Collective has declared their intention to seize what is their due. In the film industry exploitation of what the society calls the “meeker gender” is entrenched. Financial disparity is obviously present, which is in itself awful, but sexual abuse is widespread, which is ethically and legally criminal. It took such a long time to actors to open up on the abuses they faced shows what is all wrong with this malevolent male dominated society.

It was with enormous shock that we learnt that sexual exploitation is widespread in the field of journalism too, which we had assumed to be a domain where liberal values had its most expansive expression. Women can no longer allow the narrative of victimhood to describe them. An attitude change has become inevitable; they need to take the bull by the horns. 

The womankind must understand that the struggle for justice that women in one part of the world fight is a struggle that has implications to the lives of women in other parts of the world as well. If you abdicate the responsibility of standing with your fellow women in their struggle for equality then you would be committing a historical wrong. It is a struggle women can ill afford to lose.

Esoteric religious texts and their narrow interpretations, together with archaic traditions and customs could be the driving force behind one’s personal spiritual journey, but the basis on which a society runs its business could only be the liberal tenets enshrined in the constitution. Women’s emancipation and gender parity could be achieved only if such liberal values flourish in the society. Real hope for change lies only in a generational shift in the attitude of the young, where indoctrinated conservative dogma takes a backseat and liberal values take over. 

Aravind Ramesh, Age 36 - Getting to the wrong side of 30s

It happens only in movies, or so I convince myself, that on your birthday, while you are fast asleep in the morning, your wife plants a kiss on your cheek to wish you a happy birthday.

In the many years we have been husband and wife, my lady has never remembered my birthday, leave alone kissing me a happy birthday wish. Of course one can’t blame her, for she has hardly remembered even her own birthday any of these years and I had to often resort to many open ended questions like “what do you think is the importance of this day?”, to persuade her to come up with the answer.

Our son is only 4 months old and so I have to wait for 8 more months to see if she could rise above such mediocrity and remember perhaps the most important day of her life.

Having said all that, I never had to depend on anyone’s patronage to remember my birthday, possibly because I am quite self aware. So last Wednesday I became 36 years old, thus formally getting to the wrong side of 30s.

By that age you probably lose all interest in celebrating your birthday, because you figure out by then that age is just a number, that it doesn’t really indicate anything significant, but is only a poignant reminder that you are one year closer to death.

This is also the time when you finally realise it is better to stay alone or in the company of books than in the company of real people, because there is no hatred, no egoism and hence no disillusionment when you are with the former. You would rather look forward to spend some time with your own self, may be musing much about nothing, rather than squandering it on reckless adults of either gender.

But as age 36 is a bit too late to change old habits or reconsider personal convictions, you are trapped in your established dispositions, even when you are aware that they might lead you to a loss of emotional harmony. By that time you would have earned some reputation, which you would not be ready to sacrifice at the altar of any relationship.

When you are at the wrong side of 30s, your sartorial tastes would appear at odds with contemporary fashion. The younger may scorn at you for being obsolete, the older may throw their indignation at you for not doing enough to uphold tradition. By now you are your own man and the opinions of others will worry you less, any comment on your attire lesser.

And once you reach the wrong side of 30s, neither will young ladies hold their breath when you pass by, nor will this world mourn with the words "a good soul snuffed out too early" if you pass away.

As nothing can evoke respect in our country like grey hair, you would constantly be made aware of your age by cynics who would address you ‘Sir’, in every place you choose to venture. There are also the innocent - in office, in park, in public transport and in a crowd – who would pour in their affection, sometimes sympathy, at you by addressing you Chettan (Malayalam for “elder brother”).

One advantage of getting to the wrong side of 30s is that you can leave a party unnoticed, without doubtful eyes following you or questioning words chasing you down. On presenting yourself the following day to the same pack, not a single soul will ask you at what time you left the previous day or not a single tongue will rebuke you for leaving without informing.

Charles Dickens proclaimed, “Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs”. When you are at the wrong side of 30s, you may regret many opportunities you had allowed to slip away when you were young. You may also regret occasions when you should have been more firm and resolute in taking decisions. Regret is not however restricted to life events but includes people as well – those whom you regret for showering affection on and showing trust on and those whom you regret for failing to do so.

When you are at the wrong side of 30s, though quite late, you start appreciating what great men (and women) had said about the vagaries of life and people. You recognize that there is no truer maxim than “familiarity breeds contempt”; you understand that if you do hundred good things for someone and then unwittingly do one bad thing, he/she will forget all the good things you did, but will remember only the one bad thing you did to him/her. And now that you have the experience of many years of making friends, you also get acquainted with the basic fact that best friends can turn to be your worst enemies.

As Mark Twain once remarked, life could have been infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. With the kind of knowledge one would accrue by reaching the wrong side of 30s, life might follow a different path if one gets a chance to go back, take rebirth and start re-living from his day of birth.

Insofar as my 36th birthday is concerned, let me thank everyone of you who wished me on that day and those who forgot to or chose not to wish me.

By the way, to set the record straight, my wife had risen from mediocrity and had made delicious payasam for me that evening.

She is a star.

Open letter to the Prime Minister

Mr. Prime Minister,

We, people in whom conscience hasn't died yet, are sure that any number of open letters to you on expressing outrage and anguish on the rape of a little girl in Kathua, Jammu & Kashmir, would not deter you from your inaction on the issue, but we must voice our concern lest history would count us among those who were complicit in that brutal act with our silence.

While J&K ministers from your party joined the protests in support of the alleged rapists, your own cabinet ministers at the centre followed your example with their silence. Spokespersons of your party, as well as your supporters, engaged in shameless acts of whataboutery in social media and outside.

However people who are conscientious have come together to express our collective sense of shame and anger on the unspeakable horror of that young girl being brutally raped and killed in Kathua. We are very much part of the ordinary citizenry of this country who are distressed and anguished about the crimes committed on the minorities and other vulnerable sections of the society including women and children.

As enshrined in the constitution of our great nation, one of the basic responsibilities of the government is to provide safety and protection to the people of the country. But we are afraid, the present dispensation under your leadership has failed miserably in providing it. To add to the tragedy, the state itself appears to be in connivance with the alleged perpetrators in concealing the evidence and in threatening the family of the victim and even the lawyers who fight her case.

The communal hate that resulted in this heinous crime has invariable stemmed from the invidious propaganda unleashed against the minorities by both the fringe and mainstream elements of the Sangh Parivar. That the vicious atmosphere of communal hate and bigotry has worsened in the country since you came to power in 2014 doesn’t put you in any favourable light nationally or internationally. The whole country knows that you are in supreme command of your government and your party. Hence it becomes all the more important for you to exercise your power - political and moral - to make sure that rabid elements of the Parivar are kept under check.

Obviously you have spoken against the crimes, but in the absence of political action to follow your words, it could only be construed as paying mere lip service. It is your ultimate responsibility to make sure that your government responds and acts resolutely not only to bring the perpetrators of the heinous crime to justice but also to thwart any further attempt that aims to destroy the social fabric of our nation.

We call upon you to bring justice to the little girl of Kathua by fast tracking the prosecution of the perpetrators of the crime. We also call upon you to do everything possible to make sure that the vulnerable sections of the society get protection for their life and liberty.

We hope that you will act decisively now, otherwise as a nation we would have failed not only that little girl of Kathua, but all the little angels around us who are India’s daughters.

Sincerely,
On behalf of many conscientious patriots,
A proud Indian